I used to be in a relationship with this guy. Just after we started dating he travelled back to finish up his masters. For the first few weeks, the relationship was going smoothly.. I used to call more.(Maybe I showed too much emotions). I realized he didn't use to call so I decided to stop calling. I told him about it and he came up with news of him having to work really hard to support himself and didn't have time to keep in touch as he should. I tried to understand but I later thought a guy should no matter how busy he is find time to talk to his girlfriend... We had an argument about this and a lot of other things and I deleted him off my bbm.
Then he started calling regularly. We sorted it all, he was readded and he continued with no calling. At times we don't chat for like 2 days den he messages on the next day to act like everything is cool. A particular day came, we had a good chat and it was all fun everyone was happy. The next day I didn't hear from him. I pinged him in the afternoon and he read and replied immediately ( which meant he wasn't busy, he had been with his phone).
I told him I just wanted to holla nd know if he was fine.. I got really fed up and angry and spoke to him I was rude( my bad) when I'm angry I could be rude. ( Didn't insult him but dere re other ways of being rude). He was giving attitude and stuff and wasn't sorry. I cried, told my brother about it and he told me the guy is obviously having fun I should just turn the table around. Not to mention he has this girl Bestfriend who is always with him. They practically do everything together, I'm beginning to believe they are not friends like he claims sef.
I stopped calling, texting or checking up. Then he started starting a chat after like a week or 2 interval. Oh well I couldn't care less.. I was over him.. He recently accused me of being inconsiderate and rude....
In summary he was acting non interested, hot and cold and not caring and extremely forgetful ( Quite a number of things he forgot) and if was ( angry and rude, trying to make him serious)
Is he right? Am I wrong? Please help.
Nawa for the kind of things ppl post for advise.....you are both wrong!
ReplyDeleteNo comment!!!
DeleteYuck my problem is how to stop Wizkid, Davido and Dbanj from stalking me. When I go out, I catch them peeping .They call me like 100times a day heelllllllllllp pwefigure8
DeleteNawa for the kind of things ppl post for advise.....you are both wrong!
ReplyDeleteIf he is on your BBM and stays a day without chatting,he isn't your boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteYes so true,from ur. Story its eveident he is'nt into you dat much,nd you're d 1 mkin all d effort while he's relaxed abt you,,,dump his silly ass nd move on,you dnt beg a man to love you,kinda demeaning if u ask me,,nd obviously he's into dat his Bff,so let dem be period
DeleteMove on .
ReplyDeleteMy dear, u were very right. I wish most girl's could read the handwriting on the wall and call a spade a spade. No time for time wasters or ppl that want to use u as spare tyre. The guy shd go and sleep. If u check his fone now, he has steady ppl he chats with @ all hrs. I always tell girls - a man that wants u will make time for u and show u irrespective of how busy or otherwise he is.
ReplyDeleteThe signs were there. He has met someone else so you were not wrong
ReplyDeleteForget the dude had d sam experience. 2weeks to his return to naija he.wanted to rekindle. He obviously wants d fun. Let him go.
ReplyDeleteIf a man loves you, nor matter how busy, he can't spend 2 days without asking you how your day went. I say 2 days because just in case his phone went off or something. So he is a jerk.Even Obama can't be too busy not to call michelle
ReplyDeleteReally? I cud stay a week without contacting my bf, even though he tries as much as possible to talk to me, am not just in d mood to talk to him sometime. So hav been wrong all dis while? And he wont even brk up wit me sef. *sighs*
DeleteAnon 09:49 smh for you.He doesn't complain because he has another *tongue out*
DeleteI pity ur life. Ure his 2nd choice. Somebody is fillin d space on ur behalf and gettin all his attentn dts why he's nt bothered evn if u stay 1yr wtout any contact.
DeleteMIE
Pity ur life MIE. I knw him like I knw d way to my mouth, he has nobody other dan me. He doubledates not! I knw it wil b hard for you to bliiv cos u av neva com across a faithful dude, dey all cheat on ur broke ass.
DeleteLmao true @ MIE.Let her keep living in denial
DeleteThere is no right or wrong. Yes both of you could have done better especially the guy by being the bigger man. Long distance relationship almost never work because trust , insecurity feelings of negelect creep in. Not exactly conditions that allow a relationship grow. Basically yes he could have done better. Both parties could have saved time and had a serious conversation and end it or whatever rather than try to hold on to an idea and end up hating each other
ReplyDeleteIn my case he calls every day and we exchange mails back n forth, he isn't on bbm so we use other means, drs NEVER been a day gone by that we didn't communicate. Long distance relationship will work if d two of u r willing to let it n ur will has to be strong. As 4u sister, u r r rye. Stop trying to make it work, end it, move on and be happy, u don't v to delete him off bbm, leave him, make e for c how happy u r without him(sha don't overdue, else he would know ur not over him n just craving attention). Pray also...
ReplyDeleteI av a different problem,my fiance always tries his best so we will always communicate wit each oda but the feeling is not mutual.do u guys tink I dnt love him cos dats hw I always act with my prevoius relationship.I av neva fallen in love and would love to experience dat may be it cos I have neva given ma body to any guy.I knw I will definitely fall in love wit ma husband cos I will give both my body and heart but for now no mata hw good the guy is I find it difficult to fall in love and they always believe I love dem.it is well
ReplyDeleteThe thing is. Don't rush it.One day you will find a man you will fall hopelessly inlove with you won't bear a day without calling him. It's all about time.So let these ones go Coz you don't love them
DeletePoster that guy doesn't love you as much
Truth is day education abroad is very tasking and time consuming. But when u add. A job to it to support yourself it becomes horrible. I can relate to where the boy is coming from cos I am a living example. Girls should sometimes learn to be patient and understanding.
ReplyDeleteI believe no matter how busy a man is if he loves u he will always make out time for u no matter how small and u will know when he is making the effort.
ReplyDeleteHe isn't worth the stress jor
ReplyDeleteHez not worth it dear, jst move on.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar Experience but he was too proud to express his feeling always want me to learn d hard way but I later understood him becos he wants me to learn n understand him so I won't be carried away but I could tolorate him becos I like a guy who shows his feeling so I decided to let go to tell him I can live without him, for 2 monthes we didn't communicate but after xmas n new year he started calling to say sorry stuff like dat but it was too late n I later realised dat I was not d ony person he was dating but he did loved me so I will advise u to let go it will only take tym for u to be ur self again tym heals wounds so just let go he's not worth it u deserve to be happy becos me am so happy relationship self na stress
ReplyDeleteDating this guy and e tells me I am d best thing thqt has happened to him. When I met him e was not so focused but now e is getting his shits togthee. D issue now is I know e is seeing 2 other girls. I have not said nothing but my attitude has changed especially when I know I can't stand bn cheated on. Over reacting or he is stupid ass?
DeleteOMG! Im in the same situation, i havent slept since a week now, thank God im through with exams. He doesn't make any effort to communicate, I can send him 5 texts n he ll respond to with just 1 dat doesnt even show he read all my texts... I really want this to work if he doesnt want me anylonger why won't he just tell me. He wasn't any better before but definitely not this worse!
ReplyDeleteAbegi, his he d 1st prsn 2 study abroad? Sync derz bbm he shud atleast snd a voice note, drez also whatsapp.stp callin him, nd move on, if u continue u will onli suffer.go out n meet sm1 new.n beta.
ReplyDeleteI had or have this issue with my girl too, at a point, I felt she was the one writing the compliant note. Lemme tell you sincerely from a guys percepective abroad. I really love my girl and I can't substitute her with any other girl. There are a lot of issues I will point to as the problem for his (my) attitude, one is the time zone, initially we or I felt I could deal with talking to my girl anytime I felt like but then, most if the times when am up, she is sleeping and vice versa.. This really slowed our communication pace though she never realized it. Secondly, it's the pressure of not being at home and being focused on the matter at hand, everybody lives home but anything that takes you away from home(Nigeria) is a very serious issue and must be pursued vigorously. Ask men you know, sometimes when we are too stressed, our dicks can't even stand in the face of an open p***y. It's that bad. Three is the financial part of making calls, it's quite. Expensive though it depends on the country you are but then.. Five is the fact that men always cheat.. We do I won't deny it, we really need to have sex and all that but that doesn't mean we don't love you. If you were around, someone like me can't cheat on my girl. Six is the spiritual forces.. Lol. Seriously being abroad isn't a bed of roses, I use to think so but now I know better. There is a big difference between going on a vacation abroad and going for studies. Thanks and be strong.
ReplyDeleteClap clap clap. This is from a real man's perspective. All the girls ranting like fowls don't even know what it means to live abroad. This explanation by Kanayo is on point
DeleteI agree but this won't apply because the dude is on her bbm which costs nothing to chat
DeleteHe is studying in the UK tho... it's the same time zone.
DeleteShould time zone or distance really be a problem? I study abroad too and I take at least some minutes to go on fb, blogs n whatsapp so thats not an excuse at all. I have a friend here whose bf is in Africa n dats not an issue at all, they talk everyday, every damn day without a miss!
DeleteAgree with you.
DeleteI see the way guys hustle here...keeping 2 jobs can take it's toil.
As a student and working.....please cut him some slack.
The lady should be patient with him.
You are right dear.No need to waste time on a man who can't give his all. You will find your real love so forget him
ReplyDeleteAm fedup with men and dere wahala sef,if am u girl back off B4 it get so bad and hurting 4 u ok.dere re other guys out dee keep playing u wil find real one sumday ok,gudluck
ReplyDelete