On MPN helpline today, we have another real problem from a real reader...
I'm an ardent reader of your blog, keep the good work alive.
Well I am in a fix and would love candid advice on the issue, am the only female child of my parents, hence the need to do things their way often conflict with what I want.
My parents are very tribalistic, am Yoruba and they hate the slight hint of me getting married to an Ibo man, here is the thing, I dislike Yoruba men and the ones I have dated are crappy, I have forced myself to loving one but his loudness and need to spend on friends and owembe annoys me a lot. I met this great guy, good paying job, treats Me well, he is just everything, how do I get to let him know my parents are tribalistic??
And that my parents might turn him Down, tho I made my mum aware of my detest towards Yoruba men but she always get worried that ibo's are diabolic and they are always widowed and their love for quick money mentality, I love my boyfriend but what should I do? Am ready to be rebellious but I want their blessing too!
Get pregnant for the igbo boy and let ur parents knw abt it wen itz six months old. A trial will convince u.
ReplyDeleteSo pregnancy will make them love igbos?
DeleteFollow Ur heart, because you will be the one living with Ur husband not Ur parents.. Marriage is for life, so don't allow tribalism ruin a great relationship. And is the guy ready for marriage??
DeleteMiss Poster ... Talk to your parents about it and make them see reasons with you!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMay God direct her on what to do and give her d wisdom on how to go about it,@My dear poster honestly our parents plays a vital role in our life their blessings matters a lot, be vigilant be prayerful shine ur eyes well well oh..@make sure what u feel for this guy is true love nd he too feels d same for u oh,my pastor use to say marriage is a life time covenant not a contract.
DeleteParents' blessings is everthing when joining man and woman together so also your happiness. Don't think you are willing to trade your lifetime to deal with whom you are not pleased when you settle down with him. It is just a matter of time they will give in and allow you marry a person you love. Be prayerful and find family and church members to plead on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteOl of a SUNDAY, BVz too much problems, weitin happen?
ReplyDeleteYo parents wan marry u, dnt they care abt yo feelings, or they dnt trust yo judgement? Anyway, jst tell yo bf like it is (my parents hate Igbos bt I love u die) n take it frm there.
Your happiness is also as important as their blessings. U need to make them see reason with you. May God give you the wisdom to handle this situation.
ReplyDeleteLook for someone your dad holds in high esteem to talk to your parents. It is well
Is the bf ready 4 marriage 1st?
DeleteWell you have a point. If he's not ready to marry her then it would be a bad idea to tell her parents about him.
DeleteMy sincere advice to her is to keep her options wide.... Just incase.
My dear, first let your parents know that Nigerian Movies are misleading, Igbos are not really what you guys think they are... Be sure that the guy is really down for marriage then break the news to your parents, your Dad will reject at first but overtime he will understand. Good luck and congrats in advance
ReplyDeletePls marry the person u love.tell ur parents he is the one u want and can't leave without him and back urself up with prayers tins will work out .daliah.
ReplyDeleteThe poster ddnt say anything abt marriage naaa, na only bf matta she dey worry her head abt.
DeleteLol@ Belinda..tot of it too.she should wait till the guy propose now...one step at a time
DeleteTalk to your parents and make them see your logic. Break the boundaries for the future generations. Wonder why people judge others on tribal basis instead of judging one as an individual.
ReplyDeleteI think u av to talk to ur parents and make dem see reasons with u! It's good to marry who u love and at d same parental blessings are also necessary!
ReplyDeleteThe guy hasn't even proposed yet.. First things first. don't build your world around him whem you're not even certain he wants to wife you. When the time comes, and he shows his readiness to do the needful, your parents will find a way around it. you can tell them how you feel. But till then, wait for the guy to make a serious move before concluding.
ReplyDeleteCorrect girl...
DeleteYour head dey there! Best comment here.
......Rachel Berry
U betr dnt marry someone ur parent may nt b happy wt,mayb u shld tak ur time to explain wt ur parent,till dey will gv their consent.
ReplyDeleteYeah ,Parents blessings is very important....@a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage...
Deletewho even told you the ibo guy wants to marrry you?has he proposedvanyways just pray to God first then talk to your parents
ReplyDeleteMy advice for you is to follow your heart.. IT IS WELL
ReplyDeleteFrom all indications there seems to be a better rapour between you and your mother(which is always normal in most cases). I think you should focus more on studying the guy and know him better, don't be thrilled yet with his pay and the way he treats you,how long have you dated him? men do change over time, but if God's willing he pops the big question, trust me, your mum will convince your dad on your behalf and that settles it.. Wish u d best
ReplyDeleteFollow ur heart and instinct
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Am with vizzy on this one... Get pregnant and see the magic.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Am with vizzy on this one... Get pregnant and see the magic.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Does Igbo too welcome Yoruba woman too?
ReplyDeleteNa woman they suffer pass from Igbo Family
well if they dont see u as Gold digger sha
Pray never to be widow to Igbo family
Your Mum loves u so much, she doesnt want u to suffer
Not she s tribalitic
U go try very try b4 u can win their heart
Just Pray sha
ur mum love is greater to his love now
If only ...... Speaking from experience
My name na Azukor, I dey live for Aj.
ReplyDeleteMy job na hustler and I get eggplant wey big past that of my Yoruba friends.
Consider me.
i feel your pain dear I'm a yoruba babe and my love for igbo guys is inexplicable. it's more than just a fetish. i think it might have stemmed from hearing parents and relatives talk about the bad aspects of igbos or seeing how my uncles were players or how my mom sometimes suffered to keep up with this yoruba women mentality of pleasing inlaws and husband at the expense of your happiness. Either way, I CANNOT stop dating/loving igbo guys. I love them so much! And they like me too! those are the majority of guys that approach me. appaz i look igbo. lol!
ReplyDeletei like to think that God sometimes makes us have an inclination/predisposition to certain groups of people for some unknown purpose. have your parents met the guy? my last bf who I intend to marry was igbo (we split up for distance reasons but my plans are for us to get back together for marriage) but upon meeting the guy, my parents LOVED him because he was coolheaded and responsible and he stepped up to the plate and showed how serious he was about me. maybe you see what your parents have not been able to see in the guy.
Girl if you have an affinity or liking for something there's nothing anyone can do to change that. that's just the way life is. and there's no rule that says any one tribe has the best/worst husbands. there are women who've married yorubas and have fulfilling marriages, others do the same and have not been so lucky. my parents used to be like yours but after noticing that every one of the few bfs I've had are igbo, they learned to accept their fate. maybe urs will too.