Blogger's Diary(Part'.2)-My First Man and the experience which changed my world

Thanks for all your amazing comments on the first part on this story.(HERE)Yes it's real and not a fiction of my imagination.This is a real man who sill lives in Jos..Yes, I've been through a lot in my short life and i'm grateful to God for his amazing grace ..And for the not believing in marriage part..I see people in love ,I see marriages I admire but my own experiences have shaped my beliefs.I'm not out to discourage anyone..Love you all..I just wrote this part now ,so pardon any errors..will correct after service

Emehh..Emeh..I felt the pang of pain.My head was throbbing as I gathered the last strength left in me to open my eye. I could feel the swelling on my left eye.Voices...I heard a woman's voice. A wisp of fresh air caressed and soothed my aching face

As I struggled to open my eye, I could see E, clasping me tightly with a woman crouched over me, fanning me.

Oh God..she is awake. My smallie is awake. E said with so much excitement and love. 

Taking in my surroundings, I noticed we were in a compound made of mud,a wrapper was draped over me.Water trickled down my face

"The gentle-faced woman smiled and told me in Hausa.

Ki na da Lafia.Ya Che wei okada ya buga ki,ama na San wei kariya ne.Haka me miji su na yi.Ya na son ki.Kin Ji.
(You are fine. He said you were hit by a bike when he ran here for water but I know he did this to you.That's how men are but he loves you. You hear)

I burst into tears.I was in so much pain that tears made it worse. Then he started crying too ,telling me he was sorry. He said I had been acting really strange. That the other day, someone called my phone and when he picked,the  guy dropped. He said his mind told him I want to let him and he doesn't know what came over him.I was so scared of him and told him I had go get home. He clasped me tightly begging me not to go. He said he had to take me to his doctor and reminded me my dad would be inquisitive when he sees my face. He also said he has to get me new clothes. 

So,I let him.After exchanging pleasantries with the kind woman, he gave her some money for which she wouldn't stop appreciating till we drove off. He went into a boutique,emerging a minute later with a dress, told me to put it on(the glasses were tinted).he opened the car door and told me to come down so we shop together. I told him I couldn't because of my face. 

"YOU are beautiful to me. That's what matters ". He held my hand and we entered the boutique. The look of shock on the face of the  attendants couldn't be ignored.
"Why are you staring at my wife like that" He snapped at the girl who quickly turned away .

I couldn't explain my feelings.I felt oblivious to all the happenings around me. He didn't even ask what I wanted. He made the selections and paid and we left for a quiet restaurant. He bought my favorite meal and drink but I was too weak to eat so he gave me an energy drink.

Then, we proceeded to see his doctor and he told him the truth. His doctor was appalled. Warned him seriously and gave me an injection,drugs and ointment. Told him to take me home to sleep for at least 5 hours. 

I tried to sleep but was so scared he would kill me in my sleep as he just sat over me, watching .I eventually gave in and by the time I woke up, it was 8pm. I remembered I hadn't called my friend and my dad could have called her. So I panicked.He told me that had been taken care of. He had taken my phone to call her to cover for me. With the promise of some goodies, she gladly obliged. I got home with him and he turned to me and said 

"Let's take an oath. That we would never leave each other.That I would never ever lay my hands on you 

I cringed. I'd heard about blood oaths and the dangers. There was no way I would do that. Though I loved him.

Yes I loved this man. I didn't see myself with anyone else.Who else would love me like him? We went to church together, we laughed together. We were best friends, he was my teacher. I was totally dependent on him.He was my only friend.I didn't have any one else. He never cheated on me. Ever. So why shouldn't I forgive him for getting jealous He must love me so much,that's why he beat me. 

I smiled at him.

I've forgiven you. Please don't do it again. He made to hug me but I flinched. I thought he wanted to hit me. Then I realized he didn't. 

I went home and thankfully my dad wasn't back. So I feigned malaria for two days to rest. All these while, E came home under the guise of visiting my dad. He would bring me flowers and greeting cards(oh the good old days lol)By this time, he could come with or without him. Just my junior sister knew what was going on. And my secret was safe with her as long as I didn't make her angry. 

We grew stronger but his obsession and controlling nature didn't stop.It was 3 months later when it happened .In his boutique .He accused me of smiling too much with a certain young customer .When the guy left, he called me cheap ..said all I do is open my teeth with men.I snapped back and he broke the wooden hanger on my back.And this time, I fought back real hard.Breaking glasses,throwing shoes.The whole boutique was in a mess.And when we were tired and left with bruises,we settled ,went out, shopped and laughed.

I had accepted the beatings as part of love .He beat me because he loved me .He had never laid hands on any woman before ,but me.I WAS SPECIAL.

I had finished my diploma studies and was waiting for direct entry. It was 2004. He had traveled then and his brother wasn't making things easy for me.He left me in control of his businesses, He gave me access to his accounts.I was more of a wife.His FAMILY weren't happy.
One faithful day, his senior sister, a no nonsense woman came to the office.

" So you are the small rat , making my brother forget his family?Let me warn you.Leave him alone.He will never ever marry you manipulating twat.She seized the keys from me.

I decided to go to his house to rest when his brother said "E is not around, can't you rest at your own house"

 I was broken and left in annoyance .So I felt empty and would pass pass by a cyber cafe,which was the latest craze in town. There I met a young guy called Ed. Ed struck an immediate friendship with first day. Before I knew it, I found myself at the cafe everyday. I was enthralled by the Internet world. Wow! So there is something else to learn other than cars, clothes, ice cream? I was obsessed with the Internet and Ed fuelled my obsession by giving me unlimited browsing time. Then my dad started to notice something wasn't right. I noticed him getting cold towards E,i was acting cold towards E too.

Then I got admission to study public administration. I was overjoyed. My dad was disappointed but he had no choice. 

So one day, my dad called me 

Emeh, I saw you married to a man who stopped your education, made you have kids and turned you into a shop owner. I won't let you make that mistake. I won't let you marry at a young age. You have to see life. You have to be enlightened. You are not meant for a riff-raff.

 Dad, I don't understand why you are saying all this? I countered

Oh you think I'm  a fool? My beloved daughter. I'm your father. You think I haven't known what is going on between you and E? Are you not my blood, I sleep and see it all. But I didn't want to interfere because I know what happens when a young girl falls in love for the first time. You could get irrational, commit suicide or do something drastic if I tried to stop you.(he was right.I ran away from home and slept by a stream for 3 days when he warned me not to talk to my first agape love) But you are grown now. It's time I let you know you can not marry E"

I cried and cried. I couldn't see life without him. But a month without him took it's toll on the relationship.Even though he threatened hell when he heard what his family did to me, it wasn't the same.When E returned, I was different. I had changed. I was in love with someone else.I was inlove with Ed.

So,E tried so hard to find out why. He felt it was the school. So for the first time, he came home with things and my dad humbly rejected them. He would come to greet my dad and my dad would tell us to say he was asleep. 

So I told E we had to split and he cried and I cried..But I was now grown.I wanted to end up with a doctor,maybe a minister or president like my dad said I should.I wasn't going to be staying in a boutique, learning to be a business woman, or watching him sell cars. I wanted someone I could discuss about school.E was not that man.

While a heartbroken E tried to make me stay, he believed it was because of his family and their rift intensified.

My Outings intensified and my dad felt I was still seeing E. He didn't know there was someone else and he devised a plan.

It was a month after i started 200 level in 2004 when my dad broke the news to me.
"Emeh, you are going to Cameroon to study Law.Public Administration is not for you"

I was flabbergasted and burst into tears.

Dad..I'm not going .I can't stay there.I love Nigeria.I love Jos.
You have to .He said raising his voice.Or you cease to be my daughter.

I told him there was no guarantee I would be admitted there.He then produced my admission letter .You are already admitted.Pack your bags,matriculation is in 2 days so you leave tomorrow.

I was heartbroken and filled with hate.How could he separate me from my new boyfriend ED.

So I ran to tell ED.Ed didn't sound too disappointed .While I was exiting Ed's cafe. E came.

So this is the guy?What are you doing with my wife?E growled .

Ed didn't say a word, just gave a smirk ..I told E there and then it was over.E burst into tears and told me to tell Ed he was my husband.He reminded me of the fact that ED would never love me like he does .ED told me to make a choice.

Looking back at all we went through...I couldn't hurt E further .He didn't know I was leaving either .So I choose to go with E ,while Ed just gave a whatever hand sign,storming back to the cafe.

E left with me .He begged me to stay with him,he promised to work through his family issue.I agreed,telling him we would see the next day.Knowing his temper, I was scared of telling him I was leaving for Cameroon.

The next day , I left.Angry at my dad, angry at the world.Ed came o see me off and I told my dad he was a school friend.My dad didn't care, as long as I was going to study law.

On getting to Cameroon, I was always corresponding with ED,It didn't take 2 weeks of my being there to notice he was distant and cold.

So, a heartbroken E found my number, called me and we rekindled our relationship.In a week, he sent me money to come over to Nigeria.
That was how it continued.I would visit over the weekend several twice a month and we kept going at it.
I was preparing for a test .I was actually late to the lecture hall.E called me to ask when I would be coming.I told him the next week.He told me he was on his way out of the country for some business and i wished him a safe trip, telling him I had a test.

I got into the class for my Family Law test.It was my favorite course.I had just settled down and commenced when my phone rang.The call was so persistent .I begged the lecturer to let me pick it up.I just had a funny feeling
 Then i heard it
Emeh where are you?Rush down here .Your room is over flowing with water and its spilling into the other rooms in the building..I was confused.It was a normal occurrence for students to leave their taps on when there isn't water only for their room to be flooded when they get back..But I shut my tap.I pondered.

Please I'm in the middle of a test now.I can't come .

Emeh, your room is upstairs,the water is spilling down stairs.Will you pay for the damages?

I hung up and rushed to my lecturer,begging him .He said that wasn't allowed because I had seen the questions.My phone kept ringing.Giving me an impossible 10 minutes to return,i dashed out of the campus...

On getting to my apartment building, I ran in and everywhere was as dry as the desert
 No, this can't be happening.Who is playing a prank on me.?

I opend my door and no sign of water..So i called the number and the person didn't pick up..I was on teh verge of tears.Shutting the door, I made to leave my apartment bulding when I came face to face with E.

SURPRISEEEEE Your husband is here..

I was speechless.I was void of feelings.
Won't you give me a hug?He said .
I gave him a cold hug and said
E,i had a test.I was in the middle of a test.You didn't have to play this prank

What test?Is a test more important than your husband?Is school more important.This one you are studying would mean nothing.You are going to be a business woman .My wife.I have come to show everyone you are married.Lets go to your room let me see if you have any boy's pictures..

I was numb as I led him up the stairs,opened the door and he went straight to searching for clues ..
I watched him as tears welled up in my eyes.He was my lover,my friend,my confidant .I could never imagine life without this man who was my 2nd dad..But he had come between the only thing which mattered to my first love.The only thing which mattered to my Dad.That was education....

The tears streamed down my face and I wept because I was finally shutting E out of my life for good.

He turned around and said

Why are you crying Smallie.Come here,don't cry.I know you are surprised and overwhelmed with joy that I left my businesses,that I came to see you. That is because I love you.You will forever be mine "

But he was wrong,that smallie was dead.She had moved on.I wiped my tears and he saw it ...No words needed...No need to fight it...

The next morning,E walked away and he never looked back....I didn't see him till my father's burial in 2011..

Once in a while, he creeps into my thoughts.And I imagine what life would be like with him.His love came at a price ..a price of physical pain,social alienation..and nor matter how hard I try to forget ,my time with him is reflected in my love for solitude,my inability to open up to or keep friends....
And each time a man lifts a hand towards me,I flinch,I duck,I defend.I think he's going to HIT me..That was the kind of love I was used to...