I'm sending you this email to tell you my story. I am going through a life crisis and my friend advised me to send it to you because your blog posts and viewers have helped other people through difficult situations in the past.
I'm 21 and I'm currently pursuing an engineering degree in University of Middlesex in the UK. I am the second of two kids and my brother and I have lived in England since I was 9. My parents are your average disciplinarians who enforced Nigerian cultural values in us while we grew up despite our geographical location. A couple of days ago I found out that I was pregnant by my long time boyfriend. That unfortunately is not my biggest problem. 2 months ago my brother who is 23 opened up to me about being gay. This as you can imagine was one of the most shocking and traumatic experiences I've ever had. It came out of nowhere and I never even saw it coming. He even has a boyfriend who he has been with for 3 years, it's awful. While my religious views are against homosexuality do I stop loving my brother because he's gay?
My brother has currently finished his educational pursuits and is going back to Nigeria this year to pursue a career. My Dad is extremely homophobic but my brother plans on opening up to him about his sexuality and introducing him to his boyfriend. My dad a man of strong morals is very capable of disowning my brother or worse; reporting him to the police. My mum has a weak heart and has had 2 heart attacks in the past 5 years. I'm scared that with my unwanted pregnancy and my brothers homosexuality we might send her to an early grave.
My life as you can see is currently in shambles. I just need some helpful advice and guidance on what to do because despite not being married I am excited about this baby and I know high levels of stress (from exams, not knowing how my boyfriend would react and my brothers situation) is not good for the baby. I would deeply appreciate any advice you or your viewers have to offer.
Best regards,
Wuna jst come this world to kill wuna parents before their tym,there's God ooooooo
ReplyDeleteYou just said my mind. Chei. Better keep it secret for now. Especially the gay one
DeleteAll die na die! U hv to sum up courage n face d challenges or ur challenges wud face u n dats deadly! Call ur dad he cnt b dat bad dat he wud hv to disown u both,if ur mum was healthy I wud hv asked u to sit dwn n chat up but now u hv to own up to ur dad, or a close family member that's close to ur dad! Trust me things wud work out fine, tk care
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm!wuna case don pass power ooo,I pity more for ur both parents but nonetheless,I heard pastor TB joshua dilivers homosexuals too so he cul try him before even seting eyes on ur dad for his own good
ReplyDeleteYou guys must be Yoruba. Its your way so your parents will understand
ReplyDeleteLoooool, this guy!! Do yo have a problem with yoruba people? I really need to understand.
DeleteDont mind the dirty peacock
Delete*CUTEMICKY*
Anon 16:31 are you seriously asking her that question, who so ever he is she is clearly a tribalistic dumb ass
DeleteAre you kidding me? Your brother wants to tell your dad he's gay and even show him the boyfriend? A nigerian father? Lol. As for you, you can tell them. Pregnancy is no reason to be ashamed these days.
ReplyDeleteHow u wan do..na ur brother..just be his partner..lol..
ReplyDelete~MR EDDY~says so via www.facebook.com/eddywhiz
First of all their is some demonic activities going through ur family and only prayers can save yu. Yu talked about hating ur bro which i think is a bad idea and please tell ur bro. Not to tell ur pops b4 he dies bcos ur dad will never disown him but he will certainly kill him and lastly, a child is a blessing and i think ur parent are aware of that and believe me they will really support yu no doubt....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Your comment is irritating. Are you educated? And why is your thinking so myopic? Needless to say, your comment raises a lot of questions. Must what ever be going on be demonic? How can you come to such a conclusion without such inadequate amount of information? Being nigerian doesn't justify your seemingly archaic and thinly stretched brain power. Everything is not spiritual. Bros, did you even do comprehension in primary school, didn't you see that its mother that's sick and not father? Please I'd appreciate if you commented more intelligently and gave more meaningful advice.
DeleteOMG! Anonymous 17:02 you must be the brother.
DeleteI think you should keep Mom aside for the time being then you,your brother and Dad should sort things out. Be the intermediary between your dad and your brother. Be the one to break the news to your dad without your bro being there but he should be around cause his attention will be needed. Beg dad to keep mom out of the conversion because of her health then you three should reach a conclusion together. Don't forget to commit all to God.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your pregnancy. No matter how you feel now, the baby will bring you lots of joy when he/she arrives!
First have discussions with your dad about being gay. Eg, tell him a fake story of a boy who told his parents he was gay and see his reaction to the subject matter. So you won't put your poor dad in trouble or jail for life. Someone like my dad will kill any gay child of his. So for the pregnancy, you can tell him as long as he is assured your man is standing by you
ReplyDeleteIf it means u using medicine to tire ur bro's mouth before he tells ur dad such news den plss dooo,as u said,our Nigerian culture has embraced dat gay aspect yet bur for ur case,u can still break da news to dem kos afterall,we all make mistakes
ReplyDeleteHe should be careful. I gay but didn't tell my family. I am married to a woman to cover up while I keep on with the love of my life, a man. I advice him to keep it a secret and get a girlfriend to cover up.
ReplyDeleteBros you're sick. Like that's severely fucked up.
DeleteU go soon die o,pile n other go quangle u soon
DeleteIf someone did this to your daughter would you like it? I am truly pained when I here stories like this. You are no different from Boko Haram.
DeletePray to God first . Then you have to tell your dad that you are pregnant(Face that issue first). Once that is over you can call him in private to inform him that your brother might be gay. And ask him to talk to your bro.
ReplyDeleteSo he wnts 2 com and continue his gay lifestyle here in Naija.... Hmmm... Prison is calling someone
ReplyDeleteOh dear Lord....because of the Gay law passed in Nigeria and other African countries, its won't unusual to see gay men marry women just to hide their sexuality and avoid going to jail....having said that...fact is you are carrying an unwanted pregnancy and your brother is gay - You either deal with now or deal with it when you have the baby and you both get rejected and your brother marries a girl and she starts complaining and giving everyone hell.....so even-though your mom's fragile and your dad doesn't take crap....better you tell them now and deal with it...
ReplyDeleteI feel your distress and at such a young age too. I just said a prayer for you & your family. Before you do anything, please go on your knees and pray. Ask God for His presence, guidance and peace. Ask Him to use this circumstances to strengthen your family and not destroy it. He will hear and guide you and you'll see that in the end it will be okay. You are a good and responsible child for thinking of your parents and how this will affect them. I believe you should speak to your mother alone about only your pregnancy. She may be disappointed at first but the prospect of having a grandchild will win her over. A child us a blessing and she has experienced motherhood so she will be happy. Who knows, this news could actually help to boost her health. She will also help you to break the news to your father at the right time & in the right way. As for your brother, I advise you to strongly discourage him from informing your parents. It is not necessary now and it will kill them psychologically. I can't imagine a greater pain for a Nigerian father than finding out that their son is gay (apart from death). Pls tell your brother not to even think about it & not to even imagine bringing any boyfriend to introduce to your parents. It will be selfish of him. Since you seem to be the sensible child, I advise you to pray seriously for your brother. Homosexuality is unnatural, it is a sin in both the Bible and Koran (not sure of your religion). If you're a Christian, read Deutronomy 6 and ask your brother to pray to God to save him from homosexuality. The relationship between a man & woman is very close to God's heart and is linked to his original plan for mankind. God forbids homosexuality & immorality. He calls it an abomination. He destroyed Soddom & Gommorah because of this. Infact the only time Jesus used the word "hate" in the Bible is when he spoke about divorce, which is the opposite of how God intended things to be. I pray the God's presence remains with you & your family. Be strong and trust in Him.
ReplyDeleteBeta pikin, you just said it all. No further comments plzz. O girl take dis advice and thank dis anonymous later infact no need. Godbless u
Delete*CUTEMICKY*
Tell your Bro to introduce his boyfriend to Nigerian police
ReplyDeleteDon't even think about keep shut what your parents don't know won't kill them abeg pity your mother and remember your father is an average Nigerian man who is not exposed to accepting the idea of homosexuality not even in his house hold .pls tell your bro to stall a while longer for his safety and that of your mother
ReplyDeleteYour matter need oracle
ReplyDeleteYou and your brother get mental problem
ReplyDeleteAnon 17:29,,,,u no be here @ all
ReplyDeleteEhen, my sista my advice to u is this u nid to tell ur mum abt ur pregnancy this 9t cuz the earlier, the better and as for ur brother u nid to discourage him of being gay tho its a like a habbit wen formed itz really difficult to leave except wit God's intervention and ur total submit against the act. Also meet his friend, sit him down, advice him, discourage his tot of being gay, advise them to start going to church. Infact tell ur broda that Africa his father's land is against the act especially Nigeria and if he tries dat and get caught he'll be facing a 14 year jail term and I'm sure dat will tarnish his image even that of ur family. Last and not the least u nid to see a counsellor and seek for ur pastor's advice. I'm sure wit d help of prayer and physical input, everything will be all right. I knw nobody is perfect but there are things we can avoid and neva go bak to. I rest my case.
ReplyDeleteI love the pics of those guys kissing. I want to be gay.
ReplyDeleteU are free like a bird to bi one.I aint gonna stop u so wht u still waiting for
DeleteUr own pregnancy no be case na, talk to ur broda to go n see TB Joshua becus if him come Nig for guy life I don already dey see am for inside kiri kiri ooooo
ReplyDeleteOmg! I'm so happy for you. I mean your pregnancy. I'm 19 and I really love babies and I won't mind getting pregnant now. As for your brother, uhm just try to tell your dad. Everything would be fine. Please take care of the baby. Mwah.
ReplyDeleteI want to say thanks once again to this great man called Dr Abiza and his spiritual way of helping people am Sarah Jude from Japan i lives in USA with my husband we love each other and also he care about me always look forward to make things easy for both of us 9 years after our wedding, we both work harder to make a family greatest surprise, we have a kid after some times again, we have another one so with this, we live in peace and he was so honest to me shortly, he started misbehaving that i don't know what is going on then i asked him. Darling what is going on? you are so strange to me this few days hope i have not offended you? he said no. Not knowing he have and affair with one lady out side who promised him a car an apartment in one estate were i cannot see him also when he cannot see me i manage to stay with him pleading him he should forgive me if have wrong to him he started complaining he has no money that he has lost all his money in his business that he needs some money then i asked him how much is this money you are looking for? he did not know i can afford it. Then, he said $14,000USD i promised him i we give it to him just for him to care about his family. My greatest surprise, the next day, i went to work and our two kids were in school not knowing his going to leave the house before i come's back i met some of his things outside i was waiting for him to come back he never come back i cried i miss him so much and he have taking all my money away i was only left with $800USD. One day, as i was ready a blog i saw a testifier made by someone in Australia called Julie telling people about how this man call Dr Abiza helped her and the man's contact email was there and his mobile number then i contacted him for a help and really, he brought back my husband now am so happy my brothers and sister if you are in such relationship problem kindly via Email (DRABIZASPELLTEMPLE20@HOTMAIL.COM) he we help you solve all your problems.
ReplyDeleteSarah.
Lord have mercy! Your writing makes my head ache!!
DeleteE don red!na better home trouble trace una go UK so but there is always a way u tell ur folks about your pregnancy before ur brother poisons dem wit his cursed lifestyle i believe when u born and its a boy u will be forgiven and they can forget ur brother{assume he is dead} so the key is in ur hand ur bro na church mata cos na grave e dey so.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your brother not to open up to your parent, let him consider your mum's health problem and please don't hate him because he is gay, it doesnt make him an evil or wicked person.
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