Lol some people might hate me for this post...lol but I still got love for you all..one love ..lol
You think mummy's boys are a dating nightmare, have a re-think because,we now have Daddy's boys. These are the worst set of guys any woman can date. Yes, they are old enough to fend for themselves but still live at home with daddy, drive daddy's cars and eat dad's food.
Sometime last year, a friend of mine met this popular Nigerian celebrity DJ.An epitome of handsomeness and well traveled, she excitedly told me how she had snagged one of Nigeria's hottest bachelors.
However, there was a little problem. ..She had known him for over two months and he never invited her home. He always brought up the excuse that he was busy. As long as he hadn't had sex with her, there was no reason to panic.
So, one fateful day, out of the blue, he invited her over at night. So after a musical show, she went along with him in his jeep (oops! hope this doesn't give away his identity .lol) and as ladies do, we resorted to BB communication.
She told me how they were driving towards Lekki phase1 and I was like "big boy! Wow he lives in lekki" So we continued our bb chatter till they arrived at his house "OMG! Emeh this guy lives in a mansion "she told me.""Seriously? How big?" I inquired.
She told me it was a duplex and that they just pulled into the compound and that there were several exotic cars parked in there. "U don hammer oh" The materialistic side of me congratulated her "Don't sleep with him, don't kiss,bla bla bla"I gave her advise which ladies presume will make a man ask for a 2nd date"(story)
I was just about to ask how the interior part of our new inlaw's (yes we are that fast.lol) house looks when she pinged me "Emeh,u won't believe what happened now"..."Omg,he gave u one of the cars"(wink).."No! Dammit, I'm in the bush"
"Bush in Lekki?I don't understand. Thought u were inside his mansion"? I replied with a confused smiley
"Don't you get it? The door opened, an elderly man walked out and this guy just shoved me behind the flower hedge and asked me to hide."
I didn't reply "
This is so embarrassing"
I didn't reply "
Emeh are you there? Say something" .
Honestly, I was shocked. I didn't know if to laugh or console her" .I just said" since it’s not a woman, no need to panic. He probably doesn't want the man to see you. Who's the man anyway"?
"His dad, the man is shouting at him now for taking the car out without permission"
At that point in time, it was clear, this big boy was a daddy's boy, still in his dad's house ,riding his dad's cars and eating his dad's food.
Fast-forward to 20mins later, he sneaked my flabbergasted friend though the kitchen, into his tiny room .This is the same room he has been using since he was a kid. He jumped at the slightest sound of his father's voice.(James..fake name..yes daddy)he would scurry out like a rat not forgetting to gesture his finger over his mouth,indicating she shouldn't make noise.
My friend had to hide in the bathroom three times that night when his dad came knocking. My friend was like a prisoner, she couldn't cough, couldn't talk, all because he didn't want his dad to know he had a lady over.
The next day, after swearing for his generation, I vowed never to be in that position and mapped out a strategy to avoid daddy’s boys,
-Any young man below 30,driving a jeep, living in Lekki,VGC,Banana Island,is definitely a daddy’s boy..
Then 3 months later, I met this handsome darker version of Lynxx. He was everything a daddy’s boy was not. He was 32(ripe for marriage),he was riding a 2011 Toyota Camry, was working in a construction company and lived on the island.
Every time we chatted, he would say” You should come to “MY” house..I felt I was on cloud 9.Wow!,he has his own house.
So one fateful weekend we had a date at the beach and since it was on the island, he decided to take me and my friend to see his house.
We were in his sleek car, chatting away happily as he drove into VGC(Victoria Garden City). At that point, I was a little taken aback. This place has got to be expensive, but I consoled myself with the fact that, he might be renting a boys quarters or a little apartment (not too bad for a Bachelor).
So we got to his street and someone was waiving him down frantically, but he ignored him by saying” Just one of my boys around” So,I shrugged it off and as we got to the gate of an exquisite mansion, the security guy opened the gate and we drove in. He packed the car, smiled and said” Welcome to my humble home”. It’s a pleasure” I and my friend chorused with plastered smiles.
As he stepped down, the guard rushed up to him and said “Oga dey o”
I watched my prince charming’s face transform instantly wearing a shocked expression” Oga dey,where ,how?
I was confused when he said ermmm you know what, my uncle is back.He wasn't supposed to come back today..
“WHAT”! I exclaimed. You live with your uncle? As I was still trying to take the latest information in,an elderly man’s voice could be heard laughing heartily and approaching us from inside.
My date turned around in near tears”Emeh please,just enter the back of the car with your friend and sit till he passes. He’s a pain in the butt….i blocked my ears to the sound of his voice and instead of Lynxx,I saw shrek..I just winked at my friend and we stormed out just in time to hear the uncle say”Who are those ladies”?
“Wrong house, wrong house” he stammered….
At that moment, I vowed..never again will I encounter a daddy’s boy..sitting opposite a young handsome man a few months later, I asked” So where do you stay”? Oh,I stay in Ajao Estate” he replied..I smiled to myself “I’d be dammed if this one’s a daddy’s boy” and I was right” He sure wasn't as we rode away in his 1994 Toyota camry….
the problem I have with this write-up is you mentioning shrek. Is shrek not handsome?
ReplyDeleteShrek
Hahaha shrek u r handsome don't mind Emeh.....lol!
DeleteHeheheh lynxx turn to shrek.no vex but shrek is ugly in a nice way
Delete*rolln* Emeh don kee me with laugh ,was in a bus and this man beside is like is dis babe cray? Funny #phew
ReplyDeleteLovely emeh! Really nice
DeleteLmao! Dis is baaaaad!!! I enjoyed dis 1 tho! I aint in for daddys boys! Heck NO! Mehn! Such embarrassment!
ReplyDeleteLooooool......I swear,a lot of daddy's boys o.......are u guys not even embarrassed?......u must nt av d most expensive apartment bt get a place 4 urslf esply d annoyin above 30 ones......mtsheeeeeew,wat a shame?hw cn u knw hw 2 tke responsibility with u bin spoon fed al ur life.....na wa.........dnt mind my abbrev swits#wink#
ReplyDeleteit's the bastard naija economic weather. No grown mannis happy sharing a hole with his papa. Najia ladies must know that nigeria is not rosy for a lot of young men.
DeleteLil sis... stop jumping into assorted cars o ;-)
ReplyDeleteOmg Emeh,am a regular reader of ur blog but this is the first tym commenting...ur so hillarious n u doin a wonderful job girl;God bless you for making me laugh so muc
ReplyDeletehahaha..i luv u emeh..
ReplyDeletehahaha..i luv u emeh..
ReplyDeleteLMAO MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE LAUGHED UNTIL TEARS ARE POURING DOWN MY CHEEKS.ITS NOT FAIR TO BE THIS FUNNY AND CREATIVE.GOSH THIS IS ONE HILARIOUS WELL WRITTEN ARTICLE.MORE OF THIS
ReplyDeleteMadam we know u are married,you dont have to spell it in Caps.Back to this writer.This is wickedly hilarious.So funny but true.No to Daddy's boys.hehehe
DeleteFuck you Emeh.
ReplyDeletehahahahah Daddy's boy don vex o
DeleteLool u harsh o.calm down or go rent house for mushin.lol
DeleteLOool daddy's boy is painned :p
DeleteEmeh I live in Lekki!,under 30 and drive a range sport.I don't live with my dad so as funny as this article is,its not accurate.I love you die sha
ReplyDeletePlease are you married? I'm not. Let's exchange contacts through emeh.
Delete@Anon ole!! u dont know if he looks like a gorrila but u saw lekki and range and want to exchange contacts... u try well well..
DeleteDey there dey dream wey Emeh go dey hustle the guy for herself.That said,if the guy is for real,then he's a yahoo boy.Gbam
DeleteDey there dey dream wey Emeh go dey hustle the guy for herself.That said,if the guy is for real,then he's a yahoo boy.Gbam
Deletehahahahahhahahahahahaahah@ole gosh dis comment got me rolling. Chei babe u harsh o
DeleteD phoool who called me ole,as far as range sport and lekki is involved,Oluwa dey involved.Abegi fashy me man gats to hustle.
DeleteDis is d Bomb,Emeh ur d Best,Kip it up
ReplyDeleteLmao!
ReplyDeleteRotfl lynxx turned to shrek.Dope writeup
ReplyDeleteLight ina d air for this bomboclat writer.Badgal riri say so.
ReplyDeleteBoom me a laugh my bajan ass out.me a show mi boo chris .
Lmao nothing person no go read for this blog.No be only Rihanna
Deleteolodo! Riri doesn't write like that..... try folloing her on twitter for inspiration. Not only bajan ass.... na maroko yansh. Chris ma blokoss
DeleteI can't helep but laugh
ReplyDeleteThis rihanna is madder that the real one ooo.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fucking turnoff to see a guy above 30 living in his parents house and forming big boy outside.Dude,get a house and learn to pay bills.That's how some marry and takeup the boysquaters in their father's house.Shameful
ReplyDeleteLmao, Emeh i always pass by but i had to stop and comment.....this has got me laughing, I'm getting addicted to your blog.
ReplyDeleteOk...now I tink d comments are more hillarious dan d write up!!!lmao
ReplyDeleteNice write up emeh.....
Shout out to all gals wantin a big boi....cos Daddy's boi is all u get###
shame on daddy boys! - I have a question, we do say someone is tied to his mummy apron, what can we say they are tied to in the case of daddy? tied to daddy's tie or okun shokoto?
ReplyDeletethe only thing sticking their asses in their daddies apartment is fear. the fear of the unknown! it is known but they dont want to imagine or go through it.
the write up is simply telling their lazy asses that the way up is down. there is no shame in a humble begining. hehehe @ camry 1994!
Lmaoooo codeddgg .u make sense die.
Deletei have a question for u emeh, what about a one room apartment pedestrian, can u roll with dat? Nobody knows tomorrow! Search urself before u answer
ReplyDeleteLol see Jamb question.I see her write anything concern guy wey dey use legedes benz?f u like,no go buy camry 94.
DeleteOMG looooool
ReplyDeleteDaddy's boy is way better than mummy's boy, mummy will always interfere with relationships but daddy wouldn't
ReplyDeleteLOL... Nice one Emeh. Daddy boys..don't know they exist. very funny. checkout my blog uyiehigie.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteBuahahahha this post reminds of this sexy, hunky n swaggalious dude I met at a movie location. Liked his style so tout we could work thing out, since my booboo was out of country.. we got mingled. I noticed dis dude was alwz talking abt his car blah blah.. At I point I wondered if he was trying to impress me or maybe was intimidated by my ride(high lander jeep 2010) Dropped him off at his place after location thinz as in getting to know each oda beta. On reaching d estate, i was expectn him to usher me into his apartment, d dude was just forming gist with my engine on. Shooo Befor I would utter "won't U̶̲̥̅̊ invite me in" His kid bro stormed out of no wher to assist him with his bags from my car.. Even gave him this signal (oboi U̶̲̥̅̊ don hammer) buahahhaa. To cut d long story short. This dude lives and survive on his dad.. Doesn't know wht it means to own a room in wuse, maitama at less kubwa or maraba ( I no fit sit down inside water make soap enter for my eyez as a correct edo babe) I neva answered his calls or replied his pings. Ran into him weeks after at Asset garden, guess wht this learner said to me.. U̶̲̥̅̊ r d most hrtless gal I have ever seen.. Excuse me! Abeg me n him who be hrtless.. Normally a guy is suppose to pick n drop his gal after dates.. Reverse would be d case, holy ghost fire! of cos I wil take care of outing bills, such dude can only afford to take U̶̲̥̅̊ to gardens for alomo n two sticks of suya.. if maybe we decide to get down I wil have to pay for hotel accommodation, or may be stil have it in my car. By d time engine knock he no go contribute kobo.. I fit dey recharge BIS join self.. Buahaahahaha hungry abuja boi. I cut out, I rather remain faithful.
ReplyDeleteKaii wicked and funny Jasmyne.
DeleteJasmyne,thats what you get for wanting to cheat on your boyfriend.Mtcheww
DeleteOh my God!!! Laff e haff finish me!choi,dx is madt funny!d writeup,d comments,emeh u gud!kip it up darl*winks
ReplyDeleteEmeh yaff kee me o.....choiii....but what d'u expect from boys living in banana island or VGC....it's either he's a daddy or mummy's boy,,,a drug pusher or a yahoo(plus) boy!!!no average salary earner cld afford such a place,,,unless of course he stays in a BQ or smtin....dis serves as a warninig to gurls,,,,betteroff with a boyfriend with a 1994 camry( or no car at all),whose got a sense of responsibility,nd lives alone...dan a daddy's boy!!! Cyndee
ReplyDelete@jasmyn,dts d gbamest oh!its xpectd to go upwrds jare nt reversed!I fell u jorr,rotfllll
ReplyDeletemassive, this is great. seen alot of daddy's boys arnd my hood. ya'll kindly follow @ www.twitter.com/ifeanyi_cyril
ReplyDeletethis is so funny and thru... cant stop laffing
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah what an experience.I've been in a situation where I had to hide in a wardrobe b/c of his mum.God punish that boy.- cannot be in such a situation ever
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing.. Emeh you are really talented.. @anon11:55, you cracked me up.. Ur a really funny lady.. I agree with you totally o.
ReplyDeleteYou are right Emeh, there shld be a time when a grown up man shld move out of his parent's house and get to be a man. A man in his 30s still living with his Mah and Pah is a huge turn off. May God give our brothers grace to be real men in Jesus name.
ReplyDeletePls visit my blog, www.thebanquethall.blogspot.com. It's a lovely Christian blog.
@big boy you must be a yahoo boy..where did u get money to buy range at ur age and pay for ur apartment in lekki.only explanation oda dn dis is ur dad gave u d car and prob gave u n apartment.so errr dt still makes u a daddys boy..Lol
ReplyDeleteOMG just spilled my champagne.This is fucking funny.Niceone Emeh
ReplyDeleteBig boy could be working for one of the multinationals on the island. Their upfront and take home pay is large enough t rent a house and buy a tokunbo range. So haters should hate quietly.
ReplyDeleteEmeh dear, keep it up... wonderful write-up.
ReplyDelete@ Jasmyn, don't say!! We had it in ur car several times, its not maybe if we had to get down.We got everywhere.....
ReplyDeletethis is a big lie...emeh, ur at it again
ReplyDeletehehehehe,just cant stop lauging.jovi should actually pay you to use this as a skit in his upcoming show.hilarous.please repost the dairy of an unworn black dress.cant seem to find it and show my friend whom i've been telling the story to.thanks MP
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ReplyDeleteLMAO I can't stop laughing at l the hilarious comments here.Thank u all for being so supportive.With the present economic situation,its hard to draw out a genuine laugh from anyone.I'm glad I made you all smile and for those who frowned..I'm just speaking for a million other ladies outthere.Shrek,u aint ugly ait.lol.I won't stop sharing my experiences with you all.They might be embarrasing but that's the only way to learn and help others,laugh at your mistakes and share them in a lighthearted way.@ Ajebo,I guess u mean Bovi.lol help me tell hime.I'm a big fan. -i'll repost the Diary of an unworn black dress soon.!But before I do ,just copy this link and paste on your phone or laptop browser http://misspetitenigeria.blogspot.com/2012/08/dairyof-unworn-black-dress.html?m=1
ReplyDeleteI appreciate each and everyone of you.If you have any concerns,pls mail me emepretty@yahoo.com or ff on twitter @misspetitenaija
ok MP bovi i meant and thanks for the link,cant wait to read it.you rock.
ReplyDeletethis is y i can't stop coming here, so hilarious.thumbs up to u Emeh
ReplyDeleteI leave a response when I like a post on a site or if I have something
ReplyDeleteto contribute to the conversation. Usually it is caused by the fire displayed in the article I read.
And after this article "Blogger's Diary- My encounter with a Daddy's boy".
I was excited enough to write a thought :-P I do have 2 questions for you if you don't mind. Is it just me or do a few of these comments come across like they are left by brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are posting at additional sites, I'd like to keep up with anything fresh you have to post.
Could you make a list every one of your public
sites like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?
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My first time on this blog. I'm impressed. I have a feeling we would meet each other in the nearest fututre.....mark my words emeh
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Nice write ↑. Real or not all guyz sld learn 4rm dis nd wise ↑,gone ar doz days wen front seat of a car trip girls...it still kinda doz tho(wink).
ReplyDeleteEmeh if you were a man, I would say yes to your Banana. Nice write up
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