Blogger's DIARY - In my quest to be a gangsta chick

This is a true story.....
“How did this happen”?I wondered aloud as I stared into the broken mirror on my dressing table. Didn’t I warn others against this? Yes I did. I actually laughed at other girls who had fallen prey to the same predicament.
I was called an African queen (Not 2face’s African queen).I had the most beautiful and lustrous hair ever. I was the envy of all who tried unsuccessfully to steal my hair growing secrets. My secret was simple; I got it from my papa.

So as the saying goes, women are never satisfied with what they have. I guess I fall into that category. It happened in the spur of the moment. I went to Ikeja to re-fix my 22 inch Brazilian hair when one guy walked up to me. Thinking he wanted to toast, I gave him the eye (ladies know what I mean) the eye you give a guy you feel isn’t your standard.

You wanna toast right? As you can see..I,” I like your hair. You actually look like Rihanna”. he said cutting me off and leaving me very embarrassed.
A big smile broke across my face as that feeling of contentment swept across my face” Finally I get compared to an international star, not just Genevieve Nnaji.(I’ve often been told she looks like me.lol) I had gone international.
So, I said” Thank you”. He continued” All you need is a haircut “.WTF I glared at him. How could he dare say I should chop off my beautiful hair. On a second thought, something came over me”I could actually cut my hair and look just like Rihanna. Wow! Imagine people saying” Have you met that girl who looks just like Rihanna”
The look in his eyes confirmed my thoughts. I was going to give Riri a run for her money. So, without second thoughts I gazed sternly at him and said””I think I should try that”.
“To stand out you could Dye it say Brown. Would suit your skin tone”. He continued.
30 mins later, I was in a barber’s saloon chopping off my hair. Then something was happening, as the hair got lower, it hit me. I looked nothing like Rihanna.I was below 5ft6,I didn’t have her skin tone and I didn’t have the gangstar attitude to pull it off.

I tried to make the barber stop but my screams were drowned by the sound of Olu Maintain’s Nawti blaring through the speakers.
Wait”,I screamed out loud causing everyone to stop in their tracks.”Wetin na”the baber said,turning down the music.



“Abeg abeg abeg,no continue .see as I resemble owl”. They all burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.”I say do me Rihanna, which one be this na”?
“Abeg no come complain like say I no know my Job. You say Rihanna abi, sit down make I finish”He said turning on the clipper”. Sensing my hesitation, he said”See oo,people dey wait me,you wan do am abi make I just scrape goirimapa(skincut).

With tears welled up in my eyes , I turned around as he kept on with his magic. “No worry when I nack the brown dye, you go fine pass Beyonce”.
This last thought calmed me a lil. Maybe it wasn’t that bad.

Actually,it was worse.I came out looking like a failed rock star. With a Mohawk which reminded me of a male crow and the color was anything but brown.
I paid him the sum of 1000naira,thinking of how it costs 1000 to make me look like an cheap baboon.
Not knowing how to step out of the saloon in broad daylight, I pretended to make a series of phone calls which lasted for over 3o mins.

When I braced myself and walked out of the saloon,my worst fear was confirmed.It was the biggest mistake of my life.For a moment,I considered going to search for that guy and giving him a piece of my mind,but i thought against it.

Taking a cab home.I stepped in and mourned the departure of my beautiful hair.Looking in the mirror,it hit me.

Why not be Amber Rose?

I threw on a cap,stepped out to a neigbour hood barbing saloon,faced the guy and said"I need you to shave this all off"

He was too stunned to speak as i removed the cap,revealing my blazing red mowhawk.

How low do you want it? He asked"Shave it all off dammit"

Yes ma he said as he wrapped me with a white cloth.3 mins later,he was done.

This time,I didn't make any fake phone calls,I dint care what people would say.Putting on my shades,I stepped out in broad day light. Crossing the road,I heard a guy in a passing vehicle yell"Menn that's gangstar"

I put two fingers in the air to acknowledge that fact.Smiling to myself I thought,"Maybe all I needed was some gangsta attitude. I smiled and took my shades off.

This time,the compliments poured in

COPYRIGHT:EMEH ACHANGA