Blogger's Diary! My Unforgettable Valentine's Day Experience

Emeh..I want to make Valentines day special ..We could do movies,then have dinner...

I smiled.It was a lovely proposition..Unfortunately, accepting such offer would mean accepting we have a thing..But we do not!

 As a matter of fact ..I won't be available on Valentine day...

Why? My caller asked on the other end..

Errm..I have no reason...Just want to be alone..

No, it wasn't an excuse. That was just me..  Well, I have a phobia for valentine's day.I call it the Valentine curse ..Something always goes wrong ..


So as usual,being a saturday,I'd made plans to hit the cinema,watch 50 shades of Grey while munching on popcorn and lots of sugary drinks..That's my valentine ..It's just another day to me.Another Saturday..

With a dozen  valentine date propositions to choose from,I choose me..And it all started with one experience, one mistake and one horrible Valentine..

It was 2007, I was in the 3rd year, university of Buea,Cameroon. It was Valentine's day and I was inlove..It was going to be a perfect day. My first Valentine experience since I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years ..
Excitedly, I put a call across to my boo.He was supposed to be here. It was 12pm..

ME-Hello ..Where are you?

HIM-Hmmmn..Emeh you won't believe it.I'm in the hospital right now.My brother just got rushed here.

ME-For real? Why

HIM-He was fighting with my cousin

ME-Your cousin? Why would he fight with your cousin on Valentine day?

HIM-Well.She likes him so..

ME-What! Ofcourse she likes him,he's her cousin. Your story is not adding up

HIM-What do you mean not adding up? See.I'm here in the hospital.My brother just beat his cousin

ME-His cousin? isn't she also your cousin? Why would he beat her ?

HIM-Because she kiss am na(he said in pidgin)

ME-Kiss am?How would your cousin kiss your brother?

HIM-(Yelling)She kiss am because she wan date am na.

ME-What?

HIM-I have to go now, will see you later ..She is screaming in pain now.Have to help her.

With that, he dropped the call..

I turned to stare at my then best friend. For a second, I took in my environment..My room was well arranged ,the gifts I bought him with my last 10,000 cfa on the floor..It was going to be my first valentine and it was going to be special.With the boy I loved .But he as now tied up in the hospital, catering to his brother ,who kissed his cousin and is now in the hospital(senseless I thought) but I choose to believe him.Turning to face my then friend with a frozen smile..I said 

"He's coming..He is tied up in the hospital"

Her look said it all.But she didn't want to tell me.I could guess she believed i'd been f-ked over...

For a brief moment, I basked in the euphoria of our first meeting. Magical

They told me he was no good.Actually, they didn't need to tell me.I knew he was no good.His nick name was 'Crazy'..Yes, he was crazy.He wasn't the first boy to approach me.As a matter of fact,I was unarguably the most approached girl in my Law class.(Many attest to that fact) 

Maybe it had something to do with my coming to study in Cameroon all the way from Nigeria.Maybe it was my then 'Hausa' accent (Was born in  the Northern part of Nigeria)..Maybe it was my exotic and petite looks(Hehe.. I believe myself die)..Or the way I wore my natural unruly hair..But all the guys just wanted to ask me out ..

..As handsome as they were, I was scared of falling for the wrong person..Besides, I had been in a long term relationship with a man back in Nigeria ..After being together for 3 years,I wasn't keen on jumping back in the dating world..

Being the loner I was, I was walking home around 7 pm when this slim(bordering on skinny)dude walked up to me 

Hello..Are you the Nigerian girl I've been hearing about ?

I was just about to say "No,I'm also Cameroonian when he continued.

Can I have your number..call you sometime..I'm Nigerian too.We need to be close...(He just kept talking non-stop)

There was just something about him.He reeked of cigarette ,sounded  nonchalant and when he introduced himself to me with his alias

"They call me Crazy"..I found it funny.and felt he was kidding till he said ..I mean it..I'm called crazy because I do crazy things ..

I found myself fascinated by this boy.But, this wasn't my dream boy..physically, I didn't find him handsome ..We exchanged numbers and I felt a jolt.This was him..I needed to be with Crazy ..He had charisma, but most importantly, he made me laugh like I hadn't laughed in years..The only other person who made me laugh was my dad.But he was far away.

Crazy would call me very hour, then he travelled briefly so we didn't really meet up..

After our phone relationship for a while, not seeing him started to dampen my feelings ..Then..after 2 weeks, I let him know I couldn't continue the relationship..I said it was all infatuation , not love.I wanted love,companionship..He tried hard to convince me to stay..I refused ..

Truth was,I expected him to tell me "Oh I can't live without you.."I expected him to start crawling at my door"

He didn't ..I was disappointed..And I made my biggest first mistake  .I called him first..

When I did, everything had changed.He sounded cold, uninterested and bored.I would try to make him see me but he was always busy ..

My heart told me to let go..I was swimming in murky waters, but I found myself continuously calling ...

After 2 weeks of constant acting a fool and calling this guy, he finally agreed to see me ...I was excited to see him,but he just started telling me tales of how he has been so busy because his dad disowned him,he can't pay fees, he owes alot and all what not.. 

So I would share what I had with him ,the more I did, the more he asked.It was always one story or the other ...

So, Valentine approached and I was excited.He had told me he couldn't wait to spend valentine with me.He was going to take me out ..I asked if I could bring my best friend who was jilted shortly before Vals, and he was happy about it..

So it started with her telling me I needed to make my unruly hair look much better  ..We rushed to the saloon and after fixing a weave with so much money, I came out looking like an expensive babboon.It was the worst hair ever..I was devastated. Crazy couldn't see me like this..

"Please lose this right now"..I screamed ..

Everyone gasped looking at me like I was crazy ..I insisted

And so they began to loosen my weave..After that ,I requested hey perm my hair..Oh My! I looked even worse ...My friend told me I was probably feeling that way coz I was stressed..She said when I had my bath and apply fresh makeup,I would feel better about myself..

I agreed..

So, we rushed home..Set our valentine meal of rice, chicken stew and salad on the table,a bottle of juice and waited ..

We patiently watched the clock tick..It was now 12pm and my valentine was no where to be found.His phones switched off ...

Finally it went through..My lover was spending his valentine at the hospital.....

So I waited..I waited.Called and called, he didn't pick up. He was probably still tending to his brother. It was now 4pm and the tears were streaming down my face.My friend tried unsuccessfully to calm me down to no avail..

Why would crazy do this to me? Why wouldn't he pick up his calls?

Errm..Well because his name is Crazy..My friend said with sarcasm 

We fell asleep..We were awoken by a loud knock..With sleep filled eyes, I rushed to open the door and there he was..My love,my Crazy..Awww..He had spent the whole day at the hospital and still came to see me.I was special.My friend was wrong..

He took a seat and in no time, asked for food.I rushed to the kitchen to warm the food while my friend decided to interrogate him further on his supposed cousin in the hospital.I could sense his irritation at her questions ...But I needed him to convince us, he was really at the hospital..

So, I came out with the food when he dropped the bombshell

I can't stay long,I have to rush back to the hospital 

I was stunned beyond words...I tried to protest and he just started

So you want my cousin to die..You are wicked.This is your plan?

With that, he just walked out..At that moment, it was clear..
I wasn't just the side chick.I was the floor chick.This guy didn't love me.I wasn't his valentine ....

So I called him and he would ignore my calls. Then I thought of all the guys who had been asking me out, all the gifts I rejected because of this boy and I cried harder.


I spent my Valentine with my friend, equally lonely and I vowed never to spend my Vals day with any man but my husband (If I do decide to) ..

It took me a year to get over him.It took me 3 months in Nigeria for the scales to fall off.
I came back to Cameroon with Vengeance, a renewed spirit and a disdain for Valentine..I found pleasure fixing dates on Valentine day and not showing up for any..

Then as I grew older, the curse followed me. I would pick a fight a few days to Valentine with who ever I'm seeing..And that would be it.
I relish spending my time alone, observing lovers and smiling to myself..

Those who know me say I need to break the yoke which is preventing me from having a blissful valentine with a loved one...

Hell no! Who said Valentine had to be for a man who wants to buy you flowers, ice cream, gifts, take you to dinner and then, take you to bed..That's the ultimate isn't it? I may be wrong...

So as I sit here, finishing this write up..I remember someone, a friend I hadn't spoken to in quite a while..He actually did make my Valentine special and No..He didn't have to see me..I didn't have to be in bed with him.. It all started with a surprise, requesting I spoil myself on this day.. Hell yeah..I sure will. He knows himself,so do most of you reading this...

Whew..long read
Emeh Achanga