Though I am an orphan, I have just one sister and she is married so I don't really have obligations.
Last week, we were discussing about the wedding in March when he said, he wants his family to move in with us. I was shocked because for a new marriage, having family members around isn't a good idea . I told him it's better to rent a house for them.He says his mum has been lonely since his dad died and as the only boy he wants her to be near him .His dad died four years ago
To make matters worse, he said his three younger sisters would also stay with us so they can take care of her.
When I tried to tell him I won't feel free,he said if I love him, I would love his family.He said there is no going back and since we have three rooms it's convenient. He always says his mum sacrificed for him and it's time for her to enjoy
Is this a bad sign? How can I start married life with in laws allover? Please advice
Dump him
ReplyDeleteSome of emehs readers av started imbibing the good values of wisdom bt som still remain ignoramus and dumb as ever like the first person who commented,PRETTYKMER have said my mind..
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Deletestop making people commit sin in exchange for money! On sunday, you go carry your self go church... People like you are always struggling in life because of your sins
DeleteIt's nt gud my dear..dont allow him
DeletePlease dump him asap. No family. They should stay on their own.
DeleteNa wah oh the guy no serious
DeleteIf he loves u too he should listen to you....not that u don't love his family. But having them cramp your space isn't gud 4 ur marriage....his mother should knw that
ReplyDeleteDiscuss dis wit his mum,if she supports him....quit d relationship,God will bring another man
U peepz r brainless,u dnt kn de kind of sacrifice her mum did 4him.do u fink its easy 2 bring up a boy?if u cnt liv wit de fact d@ he will b spendin moni on his mum nd sis,take him 4 granted(dump him)nd anoda girl will grant him wanted#deraa
ReplyDeleteNo matter the sacrifice made, in laws are not expected to live with them. Even as a mother, you ve to let ur son be and live his life. Afterall, jesus sacrificed his life for us and we are living freely
Delete@ Anon 8:32 U are a big fool,rent house for d famliy n gvin dem everytin dey want there is not sacrifice too,don't u kwn d part of bible dt says for a Man shall leave His Father n Mother n cleave unto his wife.its ur type dt is mum's boy dt ensalve their wife bc of their mother
DeleteAnon 09:21 you are a goat
DeleteThe bible says a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.
DeleteHmm inlaws,no mater ow u are carefull nt 2 ofend any 1 of dem dey will still look 4 1 fault or d other 2 condem u,pls my advice 4 u is 2 quit since he refuse 2 listen 2 u he is nt ready 4 marriage yet so let him face his family cos he love his family more dan u so he cnt change his mind, if u marry such man with his family around u dere will always be trouble all d time nd d marriage will nt last unless u wnt 2 b a divorcee
ReplyDeleteLook at these children, my dear you don't understand the bond between these people. As you have said he's not from a rich family and now he got a job, want his family to have share of his good life but you don't want... You must be one selfish bitch, with the way I see it, he's not ready to trade his family for anyone, not even you! If you love him, stay with them, its not gonna be forever, if you can't then vamoose!
ReplyDeleteU are very stupid for saying that! Don't u get what she's saying? He should rent a place for his mum and his sisters instead of them disturbing her peace! The truth is,there will always be a problem if they are all in one house!
Deleteur d one dats brainles if is only d mum beta instead of al his family cramping al ova d house .my dear if he loves u let hm listen to ur own opinion or u dump hm
ReplyDeleteI second almost all you have said Anonymous except the part where you say she should discuss with mum about mum's departure from HER SON's house. That's pretty dangerous. No mum will understand the concept of leaving HER SON's house upon "madam's" request because of common talk about the fragility of a fresh home surrounded by in-laws, no matter how conscious mum in-law could be about that. Instead d chick is digging her grave by daring such.
ReplyDeleteWhat I advice her to do, is sit with your man hun, and talk with him stating to him clearly, the advantages and disadvantages of what such an action . When talking, make sure the disadvantages weigh most in a smart manner (winks)...you are not tryx to seperate him from his famly so if your man is the conscious type n d ONE sent by God to you, he will heed to your advice, and rent them a home. Goodluck...
If you know what's good, dumb the selfish guy. He just doesn't love you enough.
ReplyDeleteEndtimes
ReplyDeleteMr Endtimes, these has been before Jesus came to earth, so its not endtimes, its insane
DeleteLemme all of u a question,hw will u peepz feel if ur son buys a car 4 a lady b4 de moda who toiled day nd nyt 2 make sure d@ he lives a normal lyf nd gt a gud education?#deraa
ReplyDeleteBuying a car for ur mum is different from living permanently with u. Biko! Even yourself won't be able to tolerate her cos she won't give u free hand to manage ur home
DeleteLemme all of u a question,hw will u peepz feel if ur son buys a car 4 a lady b4 de moda who toiled day nd nyt 2 make sure d@ he lives a normal lyf nd gt a gud education?#deraa
ReplyDeleteI kn d@ as a newly wedded couple,u nid 2 b left alone in ur bubby haus 4nw.shey u r an orphansee/take de mum as ur mum nd de sis as ur sis nd u peeps will liv in peace#my own opinion#deraa
ReplyDeleteAm a woman like u but this is not abt love,this is abt family.my family will always come 1st in every thing,the family hv been thr bf u came so my dear if u love this guy u better love the family and remember u don't hv one.
ReplyDeleteYour family will always be your family, no abt doubt that but in this situation the truth is there will be no peace in the house. Will your mother or sisters bear you kids. So when you start having kids, your sister will still come first even when she has started her own family, she will still come first while your wife comes last.that how you men take your hands cause trouble. If he has a good mother she would reject the offer.
DeleteYour family will always be your family, no abt doubt that but in this situation the truth is there will be no peace in the house. Will your mother or sisters bear you kids. So when you start having kids, your sister will still come first even when she has started her own family, she will still come first while your wife comes last.that how you men take your hands cause trouble. If he has a good mother she would reject the offer.
DeletePls what sacrifice? Let him marry the mother na.Rubbish
ReplyDeletethe best comment ever. lol
DeleteThank you o jare!
DeleteCan he make love to his mother or sisters and bear children for him?
I realized that most rude comments are from peeps that are not married yet or relations living with married couples, so they would not understand until they find themselves in the same shoe and knows how it pinches!
His family comes first ba?
The woman has a lot to contend with if she agrees.
THERE WOULD NEVER BE PEACE IN THAT HOME!
SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE AN OUTSIDER IN THAT HOUSE!
AND A MAID!
Poster, either let go of him or be ready to live in sorrow.
@Ano..)9:06 what exactly are u saying? she is not saying he shldnt love the family, but all of them moving in and staying together is totally a bad idea. what happens to him renting an apartment for them? oh common lets be real.
ReplyDeleteFamily moving in is a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteMy dear u dare not accept dat, talk wit ur fiancee or leave him. My mother regrets till today ever allowing my dad's family in. It ruined her life and marriage. BEWARE
ReplyDeletedump him .....i dumped my selfish egoistic ex last year and now am married to a perfect man .... my sister you don't need such rubbish .
ReplyDeleteNa waoooo four women in thesame house or this man is a big joker... he think with his dick instead his head.
ReplyDeleteIf the man claims he loves u and refuse to listen and reason with you even now the love is supposed to be at the peak, it's a very bad sign. If he can afford to rent house for his family and still insist on living together with them, he is yet to become a man. Unless, the family members are angels from heaven, you are bound to have problems in your marriage. So, you'd better prevent it and let the man marry his mother and sisters.
ReplyDeleteThank you, undoubtedly the most sensible comment. If he is refusing to reason and listen,and insists that they must all live together, he is inadvertently saying no marriage. No matter how much they love each other, and how close they are as a family, a man must live independently with his wife to be. Abeg! She will ALWAYS be the minority in her home, she will have NO voice!! What kind of start to married life will that be? She's NOT a selfish bitch as some have suggested, she's just saying rent them their own place! What's wrong with that? The fact that she's an orphan means she has virtually nobody to fight her corner WHEN things go wrong! What can her married sister really do? And of course the fact that she's still using public transport while the family drive will hurt, but that's not what is bothering her. Abeggie you people should leave her alone! Walk in her shoes and let's see what you will do first before saying some of the crap that has been said in comments above! I wish you good luck poster. If he REFUSES to understand my dear no matter how painful, look elsewhere.
DeleteLook else where if he insist. If u stay it won't last. Try leaving with them while u guys r not yet married to see how it is first. In fact I av never heard if such before. Don't do what u'll regret. U don't want the whole family ganging up against u...
Deletemy dear dont accept for anyting,i am talking from experience.i currently live with my mother-inlaw and its been hell for d past four years.let him rent a house for them so dt u can enjoy ur marriage and u still earn ur respect from her.if she moves in,my dear na see finish she go see u oh.
ReplyDeleteAll of them must not live together before he can take good care of them.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, do not agree to the terms or conditions He gave you. Il advice you to cut off the relationship. No man in His right senses will bring his mother and his two sisters to come and stay with him, knowing fully well that he is about to get married. A mother in her right senses too, will stop her son from doing such and advice him to rent an apartment for her. If you have to fight for your fiance's love and attention with your mother-in law then the marriage will end up in shambles.
ReplyDelete2 is company, 3 is crowd, 6 is absolute madness. My dear marriage is for 2 adults, read ur Genesis2, they both becom 1 flesh after he has left his parents! I speak as a wife n a marriage counsellor. Marriage has its own challenges when its just d both of u, not to talk of when there are 6 adults(predominantly females) under d same roof. Do not mortgage ur happiness. That man is not ready for marriage n all that comes with it. If not he shd understand that its a union of just two pple n God. infact u shdnt have pple living with u until after at least 2yrs of marriage. Pls ask God to help him understand, before u calmly speak to him. If he's still adamant, it may be a sign that he's not meant for u. Afterall a lady may date a guy for 10yrs before realizing he was d wrong guy. A broken engagment is better than a broken marriage. A man who doesn't understand d simple basics of marriage may not be able to handle d complex issues. Ask God for direction my dear.
ReplyDeleteI'm a first timer here. Nice job Emeh. #Glow
trouble is smiling, two women hardly stay together talk of four. ur relationship wont last,talking from experience
ReplyDeleteit is bad thing. it wont work my sister. talking from experience. He should rent a house for them. and you if know you can cope with the wahala ahead, then go ahead with the marriage, otherwise, halt it now.
ReplyDeleteIf u really love him stay with him.....The mother she s not going to stay with him forever.And for the sister they will one day get married and leave......and i will also advice u to be careful so that you do not loss what you hve work for many yearsooooo.......Ur guy may be putting you to test.I pray the good God to give u wisdom.
ReplyDeletePlease do not take advice from this person, the fact that he/she can't spell well, proves the advice won't work. its 'Lose' not 'Loss' sweetie.
DeleteLet him marry his mum oshi
ReplyDeletetell him your mind, if he loves you to he'll listen to your opinions and then try to achieve a compromise, remember it's a partnership....neither one of you should force your ideals on each other but also remember that he's your to be husband, so make your opinions know with respect okay "smiles"
ReplyDeleteDump him now. He doesn't want to marry you
ReplyDeleteAll of you are dumb
ReplyDeleteThe guy is greedy and selfish,.just find your way
ReplyDeleteDon't allow dat. They will frustrate u. Am talking from experience
ReplyDeletePLS DONT LET HIM. MY mother in law stayed just a few weeks after i had my baby! and i was frustrated. i cried everyday until my mum came. theres 4 of them against u. pls if he loves u he ll think of ur own happiness too.
ReplyDelete