So, I got a new book."How to make that man your Love slave in 1 week" lol. This is just one out of the countless dating books I've read.
We read books,subscribe to online dating sites,hop from one relationship to the other,change our out looks and mannerisms,cry,fight,even use jazz(fetish means),all in the quest for that perfect relationship . The funny part is, more often than not, we still end up back where we started. lonely,sad,unfulfilled and heartbroken.
Heaven knows I too suffered from"perfect relationship syndrome. In my quest for the perfect relationship . I have read every thing from "how to hypnotize a man,secrets to trapping that man forever,catch that man in 3 days,get your ex back,and my most recent, making that man a slave to your love(I better not mention some names..lol), to the acclaimed "Art of Seduction" .
Ok!I was fascinated by this book and I read and applied it to the latter. I tried to be like Cleopatra who captured the hearts of some of the world's greatest men (eg Caesar with a single glance. What was her secret? Evolving. she made sure she evolved ,her looks ,her hair,outfits,fragrance etc.she always made her men feel like they were meeting her for the first time. Always put on a show. Was she the most beautiful?No she was even described as an average looking woman.
Well,I tried to apply the rules of Cleopatra which was quite a task and seemed to be working then(at least for four months).even did the Cleopatra hair style.I forgot one thing,I wasn't Cleopatra,this wasn't the ancient era,and I wasn't dealing with the world's greatest men. I was dealing with normal,down to earth African men who didn't reason the way Caesar did. They didn't give a damn if I tried to evolve like a chameleon. All they wanted was food in their stomachs and probably.....ssshhhh
As a matter of fact,I was being fake.The only thing which survived that era was my Cleopatra hair(I rocked)
Ever watched the movie" two can play the game"?(Not the Nigerian version oo)well that movie brings out the intricacies and disadvantages of starting a relationship based on rules.
Nor matter how hard we(male and female )try not to apply rules,we find ourselves applying them sometimes un-intentionally.we do this for two reasons
-Protect ourselves from hurt
-Make sure the ones we love never leave.
What these books don't tell us is that,"rules don't apply to everyone" .These books also don't tell you what to do when you are truly in love with someone. They don't tell you, when in love, your pride is discarded out the window. In the case of ladies, you sometimes get too comfortable.You feel love is enough to keep him. You also feel you don't need all the sexy outfits or attitude to keep him.
These books also don't get you prepared for the uncontrollable jealous surge which overcomes you from time to time. It doesn't prepare you for those nights you cant sleep because you had a fight with the one you love......
There's this rule a friend of mine lived by,whenever he met a beautiful lady,he acted like she was the ugliest in the room. Why? Because he felt beautiful ladies were used to so much attention and so,would be captivated by a man who was nonchalant. nice one if you ask me but,there came a time he really fell in love with a very beautiful girl,so he put her down as usual,never complementing her.
It worked initially,then she snapped and decided she couldn't take it no more. She moved on to someone who appreciated her,told her how beautiful she was.all attempts by my friend to tell her he didn't mean it fell on deaf ears. She didn't believe he was playing mind games on her.
So,my number one rule is"BE YOURSELF". The fact that your spouse walked up to you and indicated interest means you had it going for you. Don't spoil it with the games.. ..and don't hold on to people who want to be set free
If you make your life less complicated...each day would be a Beautiful experience...(now..where was I? page 20..how to have that man begging for more..wish me luck...loolz)
Looooooiiling ur opening line killed me. How to make that man your slave heheh abeg pass me that book when you finish. Seriously, you are so right, all those rules don't work.
ReplyDeleteEmeh of life.,you just made my day with this humorous writeup. Good luck with your book. Lol
ReplyDelete"How to make that man your Love slave in 1 week" that statement got me laughing real hard.
ReplyDeleteyour number one rule is so true.
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Emeh oooo....... Av died!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this. Just be yourself. Your experiences are always hilarious.Life with u must be fun. Lots of love
ReplyDeleteDis rule will not work for me oo. www.gistyinka.com
ReplyDeleteI wish u Goodluck without Jona...... Biko, i wonder why u'll continue with the bongos books when u already know that they are fake. Anyway goodluck once again.
ReplyDeleteLmaooooo I need how to make my man's tiny weeny willy bigger
ReplyDeleteJust sit on it and grind on him on a chair, it works wonders. Try not 2 do it all d time too, allow ur spot 2 tighten a lil. If still not satisfied, I think there r pills 4 dat
DeleteEwwwwwww
Deletecreamy pig, where have you been? Missed you a lot.
DeleteShrek
i dey hustle maga oh Piggy shrek. Anon 16:47,thanks for the advice. I will try it coz the guy has some cash to spare
Delete"and don't hold on to people who want to be set free".....I sincerely love this part
ReplyDeleteLol! just few days back I was trying to set out some rules after reading stuff like " donot let your man know what u r up to all the time, dont be always available for him " etc but like Emeh rightly said,dont make rules,be yrself.Most atimes when u r inlove, u dont see any reason why u shouldnt see yr man when he wants to be with u etc.
ReplyDeleteWell,much to say about this but got to go back to work.thnx Emeh.Muah!
Princess
I love it when you write like this on your blog and not just copying and pasting gossip from other blogs. This is real, this is fun, ,this you.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are right. ... perfect relationships don't exist because perfect people don't either.
My motto: be open and expectant and relax. ..
Lovely job writing your experiences!
Loll this is fantastico
ReplyDeleteNice One,b urslf always,buh some rules works thugh,like never tell a man everytin abt u (past)cos he will definatly use it against u someday,b warned! Men love 2 hear d truth buh dey cnt handle it.gbam!!!
ReplyDeletei advice u compile all these short stories into a book,believe me,it ll fly,cos ur writing style is relatable.u are not trying to box ur self into any existing format,therein lies ur uniqueness. I also agree wt u dat wen it comes to genuine love there are no rules.just be urself(a positive one)
ReplyDeleteSuch a boring write up, "yawns"...
ReplyDeleteGo jump in2 a lake, i guess drowning will keep u busy and u'll no longer be bored when fishes start feeding on ur dirty flesh, anuofia. If them see u now A when big like omo advert board u no sabi let alone write but u'll say somebody's writing effort is boring. Olodo
DeleteHehehe hehehe I would have insulted anon 19:17 but no need after reading this.
DeleteI'm so in love with Emeh. Please be my boo.
ReplyDeletelove you so much Emeh
ReplyDeleteNo she's mine.
DeleteWhich kin chicken boys be this? Una no get name?I love you Emeh my ass. Emeh dear keep it up
ReplyDeleteNice one Emeh...you write so well...
ReplyDeleteAnd yes you're right, truthfulness to self is key, not only in relationships but other spheres of life.
As always,I'm greatly impressed with your analysis and perspective on issues, as well as your funny, yet truthful delivery.
You remind me of why I fell in love with writing initially, and inspire me to write more.
Keep up the good work.
Bless.
Relationships doesn't have a manual.what works for partyA may not work for partyB.the authours of those books are in for business because they know it doesn't work.what works is being yourself anytime anyday with the one you love.Nneky
ReplyDeleteI love your articles.All onpoint and funny
ReplyDeleteAll you ass kissers. Keep lying to emeh that her blog is the bomb. Yes emeh you write well but there is more to blogging than your stories You need to take lessons from linda ikeji and bella naija. Thats why they are attracting adverts cause a lot of people visit and stay on their blogs. I find your blog very dry honestly.You seem not to have a strong network of info sources. I need to be blunt with you emeh.You need to go back to your drawing board. As for me i dey port to linda ikeji cause thats where it's interesting.
ReplyDeleteGet lost. Must u advice her by calling other blogs? It shows u are a hater. What is your business if her blog is dry. Beef
DeleteIts so clear you are hating on her articles, your advice comes across as jealous and retarded. Miss P, please keep doing what you do and don't change. Always go with the majority and if they majority says you are great and so talented with one of the best blogs in Nigeria, then you are.
DeleteI find this writeup too childish! More like a bus conductor advise,see this ugly moji delano so uv left your boring blog to comment here? Your blog would remain forever boring till u drop your useless/mannerless attitude. Oloshi
ReplyDeleteI would have been amazed if you didnt comment here.
DeleteNiceone Emeh. Always be yourself in any relationship. Your bf is a lucky dude. Hope he knows that
ReplyDelete.I noticed you dont delete comments nor matter how negetive,keep it up. Your blog rocks
ReplyDeleteLol this got me laughing..esp the book titles
ReplyDeleteWhat's Going down i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I've found It positively useful and it has helped me out loads.
ReplyDeleteI hope to contribute & help different users like its helped me.
Good job.
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I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself
ReplyDeleteor did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond
as I'm looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks a lot
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Which kin jamb question be this?
DeleteContinue to do your thing. This is what is called blogging. Soon serious minded businesses will come your way. Blogging is not by copying and pasting other peoples work or stories as the case may be...like ahem daz all! Lol
ReplyDeleteSweet eneh, keep flying you don't have to copy and paste every lie like the other blogs mentioned cus after they copy and paste dey still repaste and say its a wrong info or rumour what have you, always going back and forth. Just do your thing,funny as this write up is I love it,the part that most ladies think love is enough to keep him..I ran straight to the saloon lol,at cleopatra things
ReplyDeleteLol, nice one. Keep it up
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Lool funny and educative.I like the they just want food in the potbellkes and ssssshhh..lol Keep it up
ReplyDeleteThumbs up. No more acting for me.
ReplyDeleteDamn I saw miss P at Ikeja shopping mall
ReplyDeleteYou are soooooooooooooooooo beautiful. If not for the chick I was setting P with I would have proposed to you there. I got my eyes on you. Beauty and brains
so funny lol....
ReplyDeletefor latest trending entertainment news and gist alongside with celebrity lifestyle here at www.gistyinka.com
Love this
ReplyDeleteI swear miss p, U̶̲̥̅̊ r truly nice, intellegent n down to earth.. Unlike the rest...I know of "one" tht is so razz n bad mouthed, specialize in publishing rubbish jist like gays shit n sex n senceless write ups. She uses her blog for devil workshop..I no call name.
ReplyDeletefor thos miserable retard depressed fools saying trash abt ur writee ups should pls jump into d nears lagoon... Which is their seek-away.. Miss p blog remains home for me.. Lovee U̶̲̥̅̊ loads..muahhh
Hahaha you are talking about moji delano's blog lmao!the babe is so razz and ugly
ReplyDeleteMiss P, is it possible for you to write a wack article for once? Haba
ReplyDeleteHi, its pleasant paragraph about media print, we all
ReplyDeleteunderstand media is a enormous source of facts.
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